2014 Vacation Wrap Up

10397080_10152578749328055_6588116143100520772_oWith it being our 3rd anniversary (July 2nd) we headed back to where we had our honeymoon at — The Inn at Harbour Ridge in Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri. We absolutely love that place because I guarantee there is no other Bed & Breakfast quite like it. We stay in the Big Red Barn, Sue brings us a delicious breakfast every morning, and we just sort of veg out (others call it R&R). We vegged out for two whole days and it was GREAT!

Before I go any further, I just want to mention that Sue’s cooking is top-of-the-notch scrumptious. To give you an idea, I’m not a huge fan of blueberry’s, but she made blueberry heart-shaped pancakes for us on the first morning and I was in heaven with the first bite. See the pictures below to get a feel of just how good something can taste via pictures alone!

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10487454_10152578748468055_1660763061112903512_nWe went to pick up the kiddo on July 4th from my Mom as she stayed with her the first couple of nights. She thought the B&B was so cool that she has intentions of buying it from Sue when she gets older. Sue told her to start saving her allowance lol

We ended up at J.B. Hooks for dinner and to watch the fireworks from their deck later that night. They went out of their way to make a place for us out there and the view (and dinner) was spectacular!

10505031_10152578749103055_6206441765220849802_oIrony is we tried to get reservations the night before, but to no avail. So we tried our luck anyway and it just so happens that a table of 10 decided to eat dinner inside that night and we were able to take one of their tables. I love watching the fireworks from there because the view is pretty outstanding. Add in their delicious food, friendly staff and great weather and it makes for a pretty fascinating experience.

10511511_10152578750148055_946016530954492392_oThe next day we had breakfast and decided to check out Bagnell Dam. I had realized that Alexis had never seen the dam from the other side; we’ve always been on the Lake. Needless to say she found it exciting and wanted to spend more time there, but we needed to eat lunch and get on the road.

 

10502322_10152574553263055_3284606136116265663_nThe best part of lunch? It was at one of my favorite places…Arris’. Their gyro’s are always delicious and kiddo decided she was ready to try something new. One bite and she was hooked.

That’s my kid — she has great taste!

After lunch, we headed up to Branson. When we arrived we headed over to a show called “Legends in Concert” where we got to see the following impersonators: Elvis, Whitney Houston, Justin Timberlake, The Blues Brothers, Katy Perry and Kenny Chesney.

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10532541_10152578752593055_1817105255502118486_nAlexis has become an Elvis fan because my Mom introduced her to his music so seeing him was the highlight of her night. He was absolutely kind to her and talked to her for a couple of minutes about Elvis.

The 2nd favorite part of the night was that she was able to get on stage and sing, “Firework” with Katy Perry. She was so excited – it was adorable.

Afterward, we headed out for a late dinner at Shoney’s and had an interesting experience there. First, it was a nice place — clean & modern (it can’t be very old), we were seated, waitress came around, took our order, served it (my meatloaf was nuke warm, at best) and then she got a table of 8 and ended up forgetting about us…completely. We shrugged it off, went to pay the bill and when we tried to leave they had the front doors locked. There were about 50 people in there so I told the Assistant Manager that she needed to unlock the doors (it’s a fire hazard and against the law). To boot, she was on crutches and had to ask someone else to unlock the doors for her. I kept thinking, “What would you do if a fire started? Depend on someone else to come get the keys out of your pocket to unlock the door and hope no lives were lost in the process?” She wouldn’t budge on unlocking them other than to let us out. Needless to say we won’t be going there again.

Then we headed back to the hotel to pass out for the night (the hotel was great, but the functionality for our family failed in epic proportions). I won’t bother going into details, but I will say — it’s not a bad hotel by any means — it just wasn’t right for our family.

10351901_10152578755433055_3500483935283982944_nThe next day we got up and decided to head out to Ride the Ducks. We had a great time with Captain Virgil. He was full of wit and kept us entertained throughout the 90 minute tour. Alexis thought it was great that she was able to drive the duck, but was also thrilled with the duck going straight from land-to-water and water-to-land. They have a nice war memorial going on via the tour where you can see 17 different war vehicles used in past conflicts. They also honored our veterans and our fallen military so I was immediately pleased with the recognition. With that said, the entire city of Branson seems to be very veteran friendly. In fact, I’ve never seen anything quite like it anywhere. Beings that my husband is a veteran it gave him that warm & fuzzy feeling — added bonus!

10472169_10152578756093055_6164531434128478952_oWe headed out to the bumper boats after where my kiddo and husband went full on assault mode. They came off the ride soaking wet and full of laughter.

We decided to drive around Branson and see what else was out there and ended up finding a couple of nice stores to shop at. I found some garden plaques that I wanted to lay out by the flag a friend bought us when we bought our house. They’re memorial stones and I can’t wait to see the flag up so I can lay them by it. For now, they’re laying out in front of our house so I can display them.

IMG_7169Then it was time for a late lunch so we headed to the Rib Crib. If you go to Branson, go there…don’t hesitate…go. Their ribs literally fall off the bone, the sauce is outstanding and everything else was great. I couldn’t come up with one complaint about it. Well, other than I needed a bigger stomach to hold all the food that you get; you’ll definitely get your money’s worth there!

While it was the year of “short vacation”, going to the Lake for a few days and Branson for about 24 hours, was a great little get-away. Next year it’s the east coast for a couple of weeks, but the year after that we’re planning on visiting Branson again for 4-5 days so we can do more there. I have no doubts that we’ll be going to see Legends in Concert once again, but I’m up for experiencing new stuff there so if you have suggestions — let me know!

If I don’t let her see her Elvis she may very well get all shook up! In the meantime, you can watch his stellar award winning show here.

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Desiderata

When I was a teenager going through some troubling times a friend of mine handed me a copy of this as a reminder that life is full of unexpected surprises amidst all of the chaos. I hung this up in every place I lived for years. I wanted to share it with all of you. Special thanks to Johnny, wherever you are, for bringing this into my life.

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

~Max Ehrmann~

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To Those Who Don’t “Get it” — Memorial Day

I posted this on my personal Facebook page on Friday as a reminder for people to remember what Memorial Day is all about:

 

It was suppose to be a simple reminder and everyone on my friend’s list ‘get’s it’. They’ve watched me post about my cousin SGT Amanda Pinson over the years…or they knew her, were related to her, etc. There are also the ones that have lost their loved ones during a time of war so they ‘get it’ by proxy. Yet there is always that one person who feels the need to say something so full of ignorance that I shudder to think this mindset still exists.

Someone shared this particular post through a friend of a friend and some woman commented on it with the words, “Your grief is not everyone’s responsibility to bear

I read those words (which were a comment within a comment) over and over and my mind was blown. I wanted to reply to her, but since the person who shared it wasn’t on my friend’s list… I couldn’t. 

So I “vented” (if that’s even what you want to call it) on my personal Facebook page because it was insulting to me. Let me explain…

No one asked ANYONE to bear our grief, but what we asked was that our heroes be REMEMBERED. THAT is why it’s called MEMORIAL DAY.

The concept is that simple. Why? Because a lot of people don’t know what the ‘holiday’ represents. They think it’s a 3 day weekend of celebration, BBQ, etc. and while I have ZERO problem with that, all we ask is that they remember why we recognize Memorial Day. That’s it — just remember. Not grieve.

We wouldn’t put that grief on anyone’s plate — it’s a hard pill to swallow.

So what’s so wrong about asking people to remember? Remembering and grieving are two quite different things unless you are someone who has lost someone during a time of war. We know that. Trust me!

To say that to someone who has lost someone during a time of war just slays me. I understand not everyone “gets it”. Quite frankly I didn’t until we lost Amanda. However, I had respect & I knew what Memorial Day was all about…and that’s something this lady obviously doesn’t have. 

Yet she has the freedom to say it because of those same people she should be remembering this weekend. She clearly doesn’t get it. She clearly doesn’t appreciate it. She clearly needs to learn respect.

 

 

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All co-dependents go to heaven, I hear…

My name is Jennifer…and I’m a co-dependent.

Growing up, I went through things that were hard to deal with…and accept. I grew into a teenager with attitude and self-pity about all I had endured. The chip on my shoulder was fierce and determined. I wanted to fault everyone I knew for ‘allowing’ those things to happen to me. I see teen years as the worst episode of a psychological transference that you’ll ever experience.

Fortunately, I grew up.

I realized that no amount of attitude was going to change what was done, decisions/actions made by others that I felt I was left to either deal with on my own or the way I felt I had no one to talk to about it and be able to work through. Those issues lingered and the inability to talk about it just allowed them to fester. It was like poking a sleeping lion. Eventually, it was going to roar.

I realized that I had to own my role in those situations. That’s not an easy thing to do because it places humility on a silver platter and forces you to swallow  it whole; nothing swallowed whole is easily digested. I wanted to get to the root of the problem so I could be happier and LIVE my life. To find myself. A “who am I?” mentality, if you will.

It took a very painful life experience to wake me up. I was forced to look in the mirror and see myself. I wasn’t the tough girl with an attitude… I was the weak girl with an attitude as a cover. It was the only way I knew to protect myself from being hurt.

I’ve made great strides over the years (and yes, I’m proud of myself!), but I will always be a work in progress.

Years later, it still seems like life likes to throw life lessons in my direction just to test how far I’ve come. Sometimes I feel that teenager wanting to force her way back out again and just let ‘er rip, but the 40 year old in me talks her down.

I always find it interesting that most (not all) people with chips on their shoulders are some of the nicest and most loyal people you’ll ever know. They’ve just been hurt, beaten down and haven’t found the way to rise back up again because they feel like nobody cares. I get it, I’ve been there…and it hurts.

That reminds me of an old client of mine at a rehab that I used to work at. She was fresh out of prison and had what we dubbed “prison mentality”. I’m not intimidated by much, but there were times I wasn’t sure if she was going to throw the first punch or not. I walked on eggshells around her for the first week.

However, the more we talked (I love communication!) the more I learned that she had gone through very similar things that I did. The most ironic part? She told me, “So you have an attitude, you’ve been through the same things as me for the most part, and yet you never succumbed to alcohol, drugs or crime like I did.  Maybe you’re stronger than you think…”

It was the first time someone told me that I was dealing with things better than I could have and didn’t make me feel guilty about how I had been dealing with it. I felt guilty about my bad attitude for years.

That conversation still goes through my head and I haven’t seen her in over 15 years. I respected her – she respected me. I saw the good in her just like I knew she had in me. She ended up making a life change and became a counselor for those with alcoholism and drug addiction. If she could change her life that drastically — no one else had an excuse; including me. Ironically she credited me for helping her become a better person because I was the first person to show her absolute respect and believe in her. I wish I could tell her now, “You did the same for me” Unfortunately I didn’t realize just how much of an impact she had on my life until years later.

People that have been through rough times tend to keep to themselves; it’s a self-preservation technique. In the realm of keeping things honest, I still do it. Even today, I’m cautious about who I let in my life. It’s not as ‘bad’ as it was before, as I feel the older I’ve become, the better I’ve gotten about who I let in.

But every once in a while, I’m thrown for a loop. There are people who I consider a ‘safe list’ – those I can trust not to hurt me, to communicate with me (because I am a firm believer that communication can solve 90% of all problems) and know that no problem is too big to overcome.

I believe that — not everyone does. A few people who were on my “safe list” have caused me emotional pain and for absolutely no other reason than they’re own perception; not truth — perception. And the hardest thing about it is, is my complete inability to make any sense out of it because no matter how hard I try to make sense of it – it doesn’t make any.  None. It’s actually absurd from where I stand.

It doesn’t bother me much anymore — in fact, I feel pretty indifferent about it these days. I have my “new norm”. I learned to let go and move on, and the only thing that bothers me about it at all is the fact that… it still doesn’t make sense. It’s almost comedic, almost, but there’s nothing funny about how those people have treated me in the process. I forgave them, but I’ll never forget. It’s no longer my bag to carry.

In the meantime I’m in the process of dealing with another situation that has hurt me deeply. It’s been a long process…one of which I am slowly learning to accept and let go of.

That’s where my co-dependency comes into play. Years ago, I was essentially given a diagnosis for caring too much about people I love and told to stop because I was enabling their behavior. Talk about a tough pill to swallow!

Most co-dependents are those who enable alcoholics & drug addicts. Narcissistic people are also drawn to co-dependents. They need the co-dependent to stroke/enable their ego (their addiction), to confirm that their behavior is perfectly acceptable, much like the alcoholic/drug addict needs a co-dependent to enable their chemical addiction.

Co-dependents, who aren’t aware of their co-dependency and actively working on it, will do whatever it takes to please the person they’re enabling. They’re often left feeling emotionally drained, unappreciated, taken for granted, etc., but use the rare “gratitude” being bestowed upon them (from the person taking advantage of them) as some sort of odd definition of love and/or convince themselves that the person they’re enabling somehow needs them to take care of them – emotionally, physically and even financially.

So, with my new diagnosis, I had to work on finding the middle ground of caring, but realizing when enough was enough and learning to stop giving so much of myself when it was being taken for granted, used or expected.

When something rears it’s ugly head and makes me realize that this could be my co-dependency “acting up” I have to stop, analyze the situation and process how I’m going to handle it (force myself not to care so much) for my own sanity’s sake. It’s a fun game; note the sarcasm.

So here I am having to deal with that…again; frustrating. I wish I had a switch that I could just turn off and stop myself from giving a shit (pardon the french), but I have to work my way through it; it’s like working a 12 step program (i.e. AA, NA)

In a co-dependent’s perfect world, everyone would treat each other with respect, love and compassion.

Someone once told me, “I hear all co-dependents go to heaven”. I had to laugh. “Yeah?” I replied, “Is it the inability to completely stop giving a crap about people who aren’t so deserving of it? Or the ‘why can’t everyone just be good to each other’ mantra?” He stopped me, looked me right in my eyes and said, “It’s for our desire of always wanting the world to be what we picture it to be with our rose-colored glasses on, and never stop giving up the hope that it will be while not losing ourselves in the process. With how the world is today, it looks like heaven is our happy ending”

At least there’s some hope.

My name is Jennifer…and I’m a co-dependent.

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Best Friends & Making Memories

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Celebrating 9 years of age…and 8 years of friendship!

It’s almost 1am on Monday morning and what am I doing? Writing up a quick blog post about this past weekend. I’m nocturnal by nature — I’ve accepted that a long time ago. With that said, this isn’t about me…it’s about my daughter and her best friend.

Alexis turned 9 today (well, MY today because I haven’t been to bed yet; working on that next) and it’s been a great past couple of days for her.

While I usually host some sort of themed party for her birthday every year, we decided to tame it down a bit this year. It wasn’t an easy decision, because that meant not having 20 of her friends to celebrate it with her, but it was the right decision nonetheless.

Alexis has a best friend (aka BFF) that she’s known for 8 years. If these two could be attached at the hip 24 hours a day, they would. We (her BFF’s mom and I) absolutely love it because they’re good for one another. They compliment each other perfectly.

Even more impressive? They have real friendship figured out…at 9 years old. I know people my age (a real lady never reveals her age; right?) who still don’t have it figured out, but these two — it’s just nothing short of amazing. It truly impresses anyone who knows them.

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Prepping for the video…giggles and shyness galore.

So after a long discussion with my daughter we decided to change up the party plans this year and just make a big day for the two of them. Because Kiley lives about a half hour away, and all of our schedules keep us busy, their time together is limited (quality over quantity) so this was perfect for them…a special Alexis & Kiley day.

Alexis’ Dad and I paid for them to go to Build-a-Bear and Incredible Pizza and get whatever they wanted and have as much fun as 2 nine year olds could…and boy did they ever! Afterward they came back to our house and they played with their American Girl dolls, opened the last of Alexis’ birthday gifts from us & Kiley (and family), then we sang Happy Birthday and ate cake.

It was perfect! A huge success followed by begging in the realm of  “Can we do something like this again next year?“.

Kiley spent the night and they played all day today. Yes — we had more cake 🙂 However, before she left to go back home we decided to make a video depicting the last 8 years of their friendship. The idea is to “vault it” and watch it 5 years from now so that they can see the changes in not only themselves, but also one another.

It’s a 15 minutes video, but it goes by pretty fast. I could go and on, but I think I’ll just let the video do the talking.

I’ll end this post with these words…these two will no doubt be best friends their entire lives and that’s comforting. Alexis is an only child, but with Kiley — she has a sister of the heart. It doesn’t get any better than that 🙂

I love you girls! Thank you both for being so amazing!

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