I watched a military movie on Netflix last night. I watch them from time to time, particularly the ones about our most recent wars. I’m just watching, enjoying relaxing and escaping out of my world…then, they show a scene that sent a shockwave through me. It reminded me of what happened to my cousin. Next thing you know, I’m crying. No, more like sobbing. It hit close to home.
No worries, I’m not sitting here all depressed, sad or gloomy – I just miss my cousin. I miss hearing her laugh. I miss her hugs. I miss hearing her say, “I love you, Jenny!”
It’s almost been 9 years. It’s not that I expect the grief to go away, but I find it peculiar how much it has become a part of me. I’ve lost others, but none stay as close to my thoughts as she does (NOT that they are forgotten, that’s never going to happen – I miss them all) – she’s just the one that’s always there.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I can only speak for myself. Others aren’t as open with how they feel as I am. Me? I just lay it alllllllllllll out on the proverbial table for the world to see tongue emoticon
All I know is this, I miss my cousin as much today as I did March 16, 2006. Truth be told, I missed her before that day. I missed her from the time she walked out my front door a few days prior to her deployment; we must have hugged 10 times and laughed how we got it honestly (from our family). But March 16, 2006 reminds me of the day we found out that she had been killed in action, of our loss and how life hasn’t been the same without her.
While I feel blessed that I am able to call SGT Amanda Pinson my cousin I wish that anyone that I’ve met since her passing would have known her because then, and only then, would they realize what the rest of us who did know her, lost that day.
She was special. She had a way of making everyone around her feel loved; truly loved. You never questioned her when she would say, “I love you!” – you felt it in your heart. You just knew she wasn’t lying, or throwing around those words at random…she truly loved you.
She had this amazingly huge heart and compassion for others. Her saying was, “It’s not about you”. It was never said to make you feel bad, but to make you realize that not everything was about you, your feelings about it, and how you would handle things. It was a simple reminder sans any judgement.
If someone did something wrong to her, she wouldn’t get mad. Where I would’ve handled it with PURE attitude — she would actually be sad – she didn’t like fighting with people she cared about. That’s why people adored her — they knew she truly cared, that she appreciated them. That’s hard to find these days.
I could talk about her for hours, but I’ll save you all the novella 😉 Just please remember her name, her face and her sacrifice; share her story. I know you hear/read people saying that all the time, but there’s a reason for it. We know what we all lost that day and we know if you knew her, you would feel the same.
She saved countless soldiers lives through her work in the United States Army. She deserves to be remembered for that… and for being who she was long before she enlisted. She was truly one in a million <3
